Come on Mooney up the Stairs
by For my sister
Summary: A collection of vignettes from the pov's of selected characters set just before the beginning of 7th year. The first concerns Sirius' opinion on relationships, his and other's. Rated R for language only. Does contain some vaguely sujested slash leanings p
1. Default Chapter

The usual disclaimer: J.K the genius owns them I don't, I just let them out to play.

A vignette about Sirius' opinions on relationships, his and others set just before the beginning of 7th year. This fic is part of a larger fanfic I am in the process of writing and as such can be viewed as the first part of that fic or can stand on it's own.

I have posted this as R because of language content. Not because of the v.v. mild slash. If you don't like any of the above please don't read it.

This is the first fanfic to escape my clutches so Please R & R all feedback will be appreciated and doted on but flames will always be ignored. Again please R & R.

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Chapter 1: Come on Moony up the stairs

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"Come on Moony up the stairs. Its not far now"

Remus stumbled yet again and Sirius tightened the arm that was around his friends waist. Then, changing his mind about attempting the stairs just yet he leaned Remus up against the wall and stepping back attempted to catch his breath. 

'I should have done this hours ago' he thought.

Sirius had sat wishing profoundly for James to be there as for the past few hours he had watched Remus steadily drink more and more and talk less and less. He had needed and needed now James presence with his kind, gentle and ultimately understanding brown eyes, he needed him to say something sane and humorous, he needed him to deal with Remus.

Deciding that if he didn't move Mooney now he would become a permanent fixture propping up the wall of the stairwell Sirius took up his former position replacing his arm around Remus' waist, Mooney's arm over his shoulder and virtually all of Mooney weight resting on him.

Taking a deep breath he advanced them both towards the stairs, 'Up we go.'

The problem was, he thought as he hauled Remus' limp form upwards was that they had broken up so near to the holidays. No the problem was that they had broken up at all, but it didn't help that they had broken up close to a time when they, when Remus could indulge himself by sinking into a depression which always seemed to come round to the fact that he was a Werewolf.

Admittedly this time that truth had basically caused the break up, not the Remus had told Mei of course _oh no_ but precisely because he hadn't told Mei and she suspected he was keepings things from her, which of course he was.

Another reason he wanted James here; he needed him to deal with the fallout of their relationship. Not because Remus wouldn't talk to him about it, he would but Sirius always felt like a hypocrite when he tried to get him and Mei back together.

Especially as... well... from a certain point of view, one that Sirius unfortunately held, he could conceivably be well... responsible... in part. That scene in the common room had obviously confirmed to Mei that Remus was keeping things from her, big things... and well that _had_ been Sirius' fault.

What he wouldn't admit to himself, except very rarely, very very late at night was that, on hearing the news that the most meaningful and fulfilling relationship of one of his best friends lives (with a girl that friend was very much in love with) had broken up there was a moment of ...of ...something else before the sympathy set in.

Remus weight slipped and Sirius had to catch him before he tumbled back down the stairs they had just so laboriously climbed up. Looking up Sirius was startled to see one amber eye staring unfocusedly at him.

A slurred sentence: "You should've let me go".

"O Shut Up Remus"

Rage suffused him how dare he suggest it would be better to let him go so he could smash his head open on the stone floor now far below.

Fuck him, just because he broke up with his girlfriend doesn't mean he should go do something stupid or that Sirius was going to let him do something stupid. Shit, he shouldn't talk about those things.

The anger was enough to lend strength to Sirius's arms and propel him and Remus through the door where he unceremoniously dumped Remus on to the bed. Remus lay where Sirius' had dropped him spread eagled apparently passed out again.

Looking at him Sirius started to calm down. He knew all along that Mooney didn't really mean it, it was just a mood he slipped into... sometimes... when he was depressed... but it hurt. It hurt that Mooney couldn't see how much he meant to them all. Yes Sirius knew that being a werewolf was difficult but... life was difficult you just had to deal with it.

He ran his hands through his black hair, he was fucking exhausted. The evening had been torturous.

When Sirius and James had first planned taking Remus out he hadn't envisioned a night like this. With Peter away on holiday it was only going to be James and Sirius. They were going to pick Remus up take him for a few drinks, just enough to make him open up not more, then they were going to talk it out and it'd all be sorted.

Well that bit had been James' idea Sirius personally didn't really see what good spending hours just talking would do but it was the sort of thing Remus did so it was worth a shot.

Anyway everything had been set, then, at the last minute James couldn't make it and Sirius was left to carry it out by himself. Unfortunately somewhere along the way the plan had been abandoned and the evening had disintegrated further with every drink.

Maybe it was for the best after all. Maybe it had got it out of Remus' system. It was what Sirius had done after his first major break up with Amelia, and the second.

He sat down for a minute in the chair next to the bed in order to catch his breath. At first sight Remus and Mei had seemed an unlikely couple, although apparently only to him as everyone else seemed to have decided they made a 'perfect pair'. Once they were together however, it seemed as though they always had and always would be.

Sirius smiled as he remembered just how fucking happy Remus' had been the weeks, months after they started going out. He, in typical Remus fashion couldn't believe why someone as kind and as beautiful as Mei wanted to be with him and she obviously felt the same way. His entire face lit up when she walked into the room, it was fucking sickening as he had been forced to tell Remus repeatedly. 

Mei _was_ beautiful, part Chinese she had large brown almond shaped eyes and delicate features. Her hair was shoulder length and silkily straight. She had the small hipped figure characteristic of Chinese girls but she'd inherited height from... whoever in her family was Caucasian.

She was very elegant, too flat for Sirius's taste but elegantly beautiful. She was caring and supportive and thoughtful and best of all she loved Remus devotedly. She was also a stupid little bitch Sirius thought angrily, to destroy everything she had with Remus, to cause him such pain. Did she have any fucking idea how much he needed her, how much shit he went through every month?

No but that was the point wasn't it. The thought sobered him enough to bring the realisation that he was drunk himself and to let him acknowledge grudgingly that had the roles been reversed he wouldn't be able to settle for half measures either.

Not to know, not to be a part of such an vast not to mention traumatic part of Remus' life... not that he would ever actually tell Remus but Sirius had always felt incredibly honoured that he actually allowed them to witness his transformations. Oh and when he could see it going wrong he'd begged Remus to tell Mei but he was so stubborn, so adamant that he didn't want her to know, he said he couldn't face the rejection, the disgust on her face when she understood what he was.

'So its better to break up without even trying' Sirius had shouted back, 'to... to not even give her a chance'.

Remus had just stared at him the despair in his eyes provoking Sirius further. James had interrupted then talking to Remus, quietly persuasive and Sirius had left the room. James had caught up with him later though.

"You know shouting at him won't help..."

"But it's all so fucking unnecessary. I mean..."

"I know." James cut Sirius off "I know Padfoot, I know but he won't budge he's too stubborn, he just doesn't want her to know."

"What if we tell her."

"We can't. He doesn't want her to know."

"I know, I know that..."

So instead he'd gone to talk to Mei, not to tell her, but to persuade her to go back to Remus. She wanted explanations but he wasn't allowed to give her any, all that resulted was tears, frustration and Sirius getting a huge bollocking that evening from his ex-girlfriend.

"I can't believe you. No your absolutely unbelievable. Do you have any consideration for other people's feelings at all Sirius? Can't you see she's upset. Why did you attack her like that?" 

Sirius tried to interject that he was _persuading_, not attacking anyone, Amelia just talked over him. "You made her cry Sirius she's having a really difficult time at the moment..."

"And Remus isn't?"

"...I thought that even you would..."

"Even I would What?" Sirius' shout was loud enough to halt her in her tracks.

"Even I would have the decency. Was that the end of your sentence? What kind of a monster do you think I am? and anyway what the fuck do you think I was trying to do in there? I was trying to get them back together..."

"But if he's lying to her, not telling her..."

"How the fuck do you know he's lying. Where's your proof? And anyway if he is hiding something maybe its because he's not ready to talk about it? Did you ever think about that? This thing if there is anything could be entirely innocent."

"Yeah right? How likely is that. I mean look at you and your little secrets."

"This isn't fucking about me it's about Remus but while we're on the subject what _exactly_ do you mean by Even I would have the decency? So I'm not a _decent_ human being then. Or maybe I'm decent enough to screw but not to be friends with. Yeah remember this is Sirius who gets off on torturing his friend's ex-girlfriends. Did you even give me a chance, no why break the habit of a lifetime..."

"Don't be crude Sirius, your twisting my words, that's not what I meant, you know that's not what I meant..."

"You didn't even give me a chance to explain my self."

"I'm sorry Sirius, believe me I'm sorry but..."

It was an ugly little fight, one of those arguments that begin small but end up including and magnifying all the rest of the shit till neither party could remember how it had started only how much they had just screwed things up.

So that was two girls he'd managed to make cry in one day, not that Amelia would ever give him the satisfaction of letting him see her cry... her words of course. It didn't give him satisfaction he wanted to scream after her, it just made him feel guilty, not that that was important obviously.

Sirius leaned forward and rested his head in his hands, sighing as he did so. He was drunk and upsetting himself. It wasn't really his problem, it was Remus', he was just the supportive friend, he wished James was here. His eyes slowly drooped closed.

His imminent fall off the chair jolted him awake and he caught himself before he fell. Sitting up he opened his eyes wide in a feeble attempt to prove himself awake to the empty room. Looking at the figure of Remus motionless on the bed he realised he couldn't just leave him there, he needed to get him changed and under the covers. 

Standing he walked over to Remus and began taking off his shoes and socks. Getting his robes off him was more difficult, his limbs made heavy by drink and unconsciousness were hard to manoeuvre but eventually Sirius succeeded in removing enough clothing to put Remus to bed.

He paused momentarily as he was tucking the covers in around Remus' neck and looked at him. Some of his hair was covering his face and Sirius automatically reached out a hand and pushed it away. Shaking himself he stood and glanced round the room now where was he going to sleep? His eyes lingered on Remus again, he could share the bed he supposed, if he could shove Remus over enough.

Sitting down in the chair again he began to take off his own shoes, a yawn interrupted his work and he shook himself once more. As soon as he'd sat up however, he realised he didn't want to go to bed just yet, he felt restless and tense as though he'd just been interrupted in the middle of doing something and now couldn't remember what it had been.

He leaned back in the chair, stared into the middle distance and tried to gather his thoughts. The middle distance just happened to be directly at Remus. He idly wondered if Remus knew how good looking he was, no of course not if he did he'd notice the effect he had on people. Sirius smiled to himself he was unbelievable he really was. He didn't even notice his eyes had sunk shut.

It was morning when they opened again. Sirius winced as the morning sun set off a pounding in his head. He shifted position and wondered what he was doing sitting in a chair having just woken up.

It took him a moment to realise Remus was staring at him. They held each other's gaze without speaking for the space of a long breath then Remus broke the silence

"I'm sorry".

"Your a fucking idiot", Sirius was never at his most tactful first thing in the morning especially when he had a hangover.

Remus mouth twitched into something approximating a conciliatory half smile but Sirius could see the depression in his eyes. He pushed himself away from the chair breaking the eye contact and moved over to the sink at the end of the bed, a tightness in his chest as he fought a losing battle to stay angry.

"I'm sorry." Remus said more insistently this time.

Sirius, ostensibly busy with his appearance paused as he was filling the sink and sighed releasing the last of his pent up anger "Forget it" he muttered.

"No really Sirius I..."

"I said forget it mate." Remus lapsed into silence.

"Anyway if you don't get a fucking move on and start making yourself beautiful we'll be late... then again looking at your face don't bother we don't have a hundred years to waste."

Remus grinned and relaxed back on to the bed, "That was poor Sirius, not up to your usual standard at all."

"I'd like to see you do better with this head."

"Yeah you're right, you always have been a bit stupid haven't you."

"Ha bloody ha and that was so much worse then mine and anyway..." he turned to look at Remus "Why the fuck aren't you getting ready? Come on up, up, get up. We got to get going."

"Yes sergeant" The end of Remus' sentence was cut short as a yawn overtook him.

The morning sun that streamed in through the roof-light fell across the bed and Remus shut his eyes smiling as the inside of his eyelids glowed red. The pleasing heat of the sun bathed him and he felt the warmth enter into his muscles and then deeper into his very bones, he stretched feeling every inch of his body sigh in gratitude.

Which is why he never noticed the big black shape hurling itself towards him. The first he knew of it was the feeling of the breath being knocked out of his body as the large black dog landed square on his chest and proceeded to, attempt to, lick his face.

"Ahhhh get off me. Get off me Siri... Padfoot get off. I'm getting up, fucking hell. I'm getting up."

Padfoot leaped off the bed and changed immediately into a grinning Sirius Black.

"You bastard. You complete utter bastard. I'm covered in dog slobber you're disgusting did you know that. I mean bloody hell."

"You're up aren't you?" Remus gave Sirius a half hearted glare as he walked over to the sink and proceeded to wash his face.

"What's the rush anyway? You never worry about being late for anything."

"We're meeting James remember. Diagon Alley to get our school stuff for next year."

Remus having finished dressing turned and looked at him quizzically, his tone when he replied was sarcastic

"And yet for some reason I ask again. What's the rush?".

He had a point Sirius reflected his time keeping was fairly notorious and it seemed to be getting worse. Just the week previous he'd kept the others waiting for him for two hours, although that had _genuinely _not been his fault.

"Don't worry my time keeping standards will remain intact. We're going to be late as it is because we have to take a short trip back to my house and get you a change of clothes. You can not go out looking like that" he sniffed "or smelling like that either for that matter".

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I would like to thank my sister and the other souls who wish to remain nameless who helped me.

Please Review. (I am not above begging)


	2. The Noble Art of Ceiling Gazing

Disclaimer: I don't own them.

Jamie's turn. Musings on life.

Merry Christmas. xxx

I thought I should write something Christmassy.

This isn't it.

This is set in summer. The summer before the marauders 7th year to be exact. They are all 17.

Also I feel it needs to be noted that this is not the first time I have written this chapter. It was written, polished and finally finished at some point around the middle of last summer. Then 'The Order of the Phoenix' happened. Needless to say it was a write off.

The Christmas fic should be ready in time for Easter.

Please R & R. Thanks.

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Chapter 2: The Noble Art Of Ceiling Gazing  


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James was tired. No, rephrase that, he was fucking exhausted. He lay back on his bed and closed his eyes, a sigh escaped his lips. He really should...

Well he really should go see how Sirius was coping but somehow he knew he wasn't going to make it.

Still.

James briefly contemplated getting up, making himself a cup of coffee and heading out...

He watched himself walk out of the front door, apparate and walk into the pub... There the fantasy ended, he had no idea of how he'd find them and anyway, he sighed again his limbs relaxing, releasing their tension into his mattress. Anyway he'd probably just fall asleep at the table.

He yawned.

Or would he?

He was tired yes but his mind was spinning, filled to bursting with new impressions, incidents and suspicions?...Yes suspicions he supposed. The day had been... unusual, to say the least.

James smiled he'd done well and _he knew it_. He'd impressed them and moreover it had been such a... challenge. If he was honest with himself he hadn't been expecting that, well everything else was usually so easy, but it had been great. The spells were difficult, the tests were challenging and the power it took... He could feel it still in the weakness of his limbs, their dead weight, his exhaustion. It had been a good day...mostly.

There was something that felt, well... wrong, maybe it was just him. Well of course it was just him he _was_ the only one there. Not that the others would have noticed anything anyway, they were just too wrapped up in themselves and their own problems.

The sudden rush of anger that accompanied his thought surprised him. He didn't seem to have any justification. It was true though, he thought rebelliously, they just had no idea.

Whereas he did? James felt his face flush, anger and embarrassment both bringing the blood to his cheeks. Well no not really but at least _he knew _there was something he had no idea about. Even in his own head his reasoning sounded hollow and pathetic. He thought about what Evans, what Lily would say if he voiced it to her. He heard it being ripped to shreds.

But what was it? What was it about today that was so... wrong... Well it certainly wasn't usual for the ministry to want to test a 17 year old wizard, not only one student and not for the entire day. Moreover, if such a thing was to occur how likely was it for Dumbledore to insist on being present, in person, for the entire session, and yet it had happened.

James felt a brief rush of indignation. He'd done everything they'd asked and yet no one had explained anything. He was left in greater confusion than he had been in when he'd arrived and why had Dumbledore just watched him, watched him and not said a word. No praise, no condemnation even.

James opened his eyes and stared hard at the ceiling, although without his glasses he couldn't see it. Instead, his mind was focused on every second of his day, every sentence, every glance, every nervous laugh uttered by the people around him...

There had definitely been what could only be described as _an atmosphere_ and he hadn't noticed it. He began to get angry at himself.

There had certainly been a, a tension in that room, something that could not be explained away as interest in his abilities. _Why_ hadn't he paid attention? All thought of sleep gone James felt tense. He felt as though he was suddenly on the brink of something, something that he'd known or should have known all along but hadn't had the wit to recognise. Understanding was right there, epiphany or whatever you wished to call it was within his grasp and yet it was nebulous...like mist, it slipped through his fingers, his mental fingers.

James snorted in derision at the weakness of his simile irritation once again stirring in him. He'd almost had... something.

He sighed again, this was bloody ridiculous, he didn't even know what this elusive realisation was about, indeed if it was even anything at all. It was entirely possible it was just a mood, nothing important.

And yet...

There _had_ been something tugging at his conscientiousness for a while now. Yes that's exactly what it felt like, every so often something little just tugged at his mind as though wanting him to acknowledge its existence. This time James laughed out loud. This was idiotic. Stupid tricks of an overactive, overtired mind. What he needed now was sleep not endless speculations about gaining some knowledge of ...something that probably didn't exist anyway and moreover was probably the result of an _overactive_ imagination (the story of his life) and stress.

Stress.

It had been the most stressful year of his _life_.

James lay still thinking back over his 6th year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. It had been... well... Shit, for the most part and he didn't know why.

Ballocks, he did know why. It was all Sirius' fault. All Sirius' fucking mess. Anger rose rapidly inside him, his muscles tensing reflexively. He was just so stubborn and stupid and arrogant and ...angry at anything and everything. He never knew when to stop either, he just pushed and pushed his luck until it snapped and it was never his fault either it was always someone else's. Why couldn't he just leave it for once?

James exhaled in irritation and just as suddenly as his anger had appeared he felt it leave him as though diffusing out of him like his breath.

That wasn't fair.

He sighed. It wasn't fair on Sirius, nor indeed on the rest of his friends. James stared moodily at the ceiling. It wasn't one individual's fault that the year had been so bad he thought democratically, and not very truthfully.

Ok so that was a slight lie, it was _mainly_ Sirius' fault, but not totally. Of course he would never, could never point that out to him. He'd gone through such... difficulties recently but that was basically the problem wasn't it?

One of the problems, his conscience supplied, one of many. He couldn't really pretend it was the only one and... neither could Sirius.

James felt uneasy. Was it _just_ concern for his best friend's feelings that was stopping him pointing out that much of the blame for last year lay squarely at Sirius' door, or was it that he was actually afraid to?

This was a new idea for James and he didn't like it. He'd never been afraid to say _anything _to Sirius in his life before.

Also it was wrong he thought defiantly. It wasn't that he couldn't say anything to Sirius and it wasn't that he was afraid of saying something to Sirius, he'd weathered his anger before now, it was just that up till this last year Sirius' behaviour had been so much... fun.

James began to feel slightly ill. They'd been joint conspirators, joint mischief makers. Mischief, but it had gone beyond mischief... For the first time in his life he had felt betrayed by Sirius and he should have seen it coming because... because he was as much part of the problem as Sirius. That was why he couldn't and hadn't said anything. He felt disgusted with himself. What _cowardice_.

He really had no right to feel betrayed.

There was no question about it. He would have to say something...

James felt uncomfortable. He shared everything with Sirius, but this...? He could visualise Sirius' reaction, furious because he felt attacked even if James tried to explain he was as least as much to blame, anger had been his reaction to everything else this year why change now?  


Well, the answer was really quite simple: because he had to. James wasn't about to go through a 7th year as stressful as year 6 had been and he definitely wasn't going to let Sirius damage the Marauders, or himself anymore than he already had.

It had been a bad year for friendships. James didn't believe, as he knew Sirius did, that his actions had very nearly caused the destruction of the marauders. He did know however, that certain relationships had been.... badly strained, and that included their own.

James took a deep breath, releasing it slowly. He'd been avoiding thinking about the situation and he knew it, his mind shied away from the subject whenever it reared it ugly head. Not thinking about it had been, for the most part, a successful strategy, he and Sirius could continue the summer as normal and nothing had to change.

Except that it had. There had been a distance between them all summer, a distance that neither acknowledged, maybe Sirius hadn't even noticed it, but it had been there and James hated it. He hated it with a passion, Sirius was his brother they couldn't... drift apart.

James was angry. Why was he so stupid all of a sudden? He'd noticed the distance developing between them but why had he not, till now, recognised that it was because he was still angry, angry because he'd felt betrayed, feelings that he really had no right to have felt in the first place. Remus was the one who should feel betrayed, he was the one who had been almost catastrophically betrayed, James only had the right to feel angry at Sirius in sympathy and obviously because of his seemingly overwhelming stupidity but...

_He'd said he forgave him..._ He thought he had.

Well. He had lied.

He had lied just as he knew Remus had lied, because he'd wanted it to be the truth. He'd wanted to forget about it, sweep it under the rug, well that hadn't worked. All it had got him was this...separation.

He felt dismayed at himself.

James smiled sadly. He known Remus'd lied as soon as the words had left the werewolf's mouth. He both hoped and feared Sirius knowing that too.

But he was avoiding the point. Why did he feel betrayed? On what basis did he feel betrayed? Why was he suddenly so angry? Once again James felt that tiny tug at his consciousness.

What Sirius had done was undeniably stupid but... the issue felt far more complex than simple anger at Sirius' actions. He knew, intuitively he supposed, that it was more than 'the incident' that'd caused it.

No, it was everything Sirius, Remus, Peter, Evans, especially Evans, even Dumbledore, even his parents. They all just seemed to irritate him in little ways, Sirius, well he didn't need to go into that but he _always_ went too far. Remus, he never went far enough. More so this year, he always seemed to be looking concerned or doubtful or sometimes even refusing to get involved. 

Yes he'd been saying no much more this year, well for the first part, then he got dumped by his girlfriend and stopped saying much of anything even to James or Peter who really didn't have anything to do with it. 

Peter pissed him off too he was just so... servile and such a... victim, more so this year than ever before and would somebody please save him from Lily with her bloody sense of social responsibility. It was bloody ridiculous. Responsibility, that was like her favourite word.

"You should be more responsible." "You should set an example."

God the girl nagged him more than his parents had _ever_ done. Its not like it was any of her business what he did anyway and why did she always feel the need to stick her nose into other people's affairs. He was quite able to look after his own life thank you very much and he was _not_ self centred. He thought of other people all the time, he shared with his friends, if he didn't share Sirius wouldn't be living at his bloody house right now would he?

That had really been one bloody confusing, pointless argument and all because they'd devised a brilliant way of promoting house spirit: Levitating first years. The firsties were enjoying it for heaven's sake zooming about the common room, dive bombing the sofas, it was fun. Just because _She_ was scared of heights herself doesn't mean everybody else was and they hadn't ripped the picture on purpose that had been a complete mistake there had been no 'malice of forethought' or anything.

The game was sheer genius, even if he said so himself, and simple so even Peter could handle it. It had started all because some first year couldn't reach one of the shelves and Blain 'Beanpole' Bancroft hadn't been around so Sirius had decided, all in aid of community spirit to levitate him so he could reach it. So the boy had got whatever it was he wanted, albeit a bit surprised by the sudden weightlessness then Sirius floated him back down to earth.

Now his friend seeing this thought it was a great idea, as well he might, and approached James to perform the same service. Carlin that was his name, fearless little flyer, must remember him for the team, wonder what he's like on broomstick, anyway so he'd levitated Carlin and Sirius had levitated Rory again who'd now figured out what was going on and wanted to have another go and they were competing to see who could touch which certain places on the ceiling first when Remus came in.

Well he had no objections, note _no objections whatsoever _and after virtually pissing himself laughing he decided to straighten out the rules of the game a little by which time we had attracted a fair size crowd of onlookers and potential imitators / competitors so it looked promising for getting a good little game going, the seventh years against us, the maurauders (minus Remus) representing year six and Bean and Mya because there was more of them than there was of us.

In the end the first years and any small enough second or even third year were zooming round in a sort of team race cum battle chasing each other through things over things, defending things from the other team, all 'Things' floated / controlled by our good friend Mr Mooney the judge. 

The whole common room got involved eventually, this obviously completely negating Lily's point that people needed to work there. So what if it was coming up to exam time, if people wanted to study they should go to the library or indeed have done the work when it was set and therefore not need to be cramming just before the exams.

Well it was all going along splendidly (with auctions being held for the best players and everything) and well into its like fifth round when Carlin did a magnificent push off the wall and grabbed the 'Royal Log'.

Unfortunately Rory now partnered with Derek had attempted to claim it at the same time and ricocheted off Carlin into Terry who was at this time dive bombing the 'Stone' knocking him off course and, to cut a long story short his foot went through one of the paintings and the occupant started screaming the place down.

That basically brought people running.

'The Controllers' managed to get everyone who was airborne down in time but the large gathering of people in the middle of the floor with absolutely no explanation as to what they were doing there was a bit of a giveaway. Admittedly the assorted foot and hand prints on the ceiling didn't help, neither did the fact that that the man in the portrait was still screaming "He put his foot in it. He put his foot in it." for that matter.

So anyway, Oh and he didn't put his foot _in_ it, he put his foot through it. So anyway _She_ came in, and everyone relaxed a bit because they were all expecting McGonagal and she stares at us all for a minute then bursts out with "What the bloody hell is going on?". James smiled to himself.

So obviously Sirius points out that "That's no way to talk in front of the first years Mate, delicate little minds they've got, could get damaged by language like that" and she _logically_ enough turns on _Me_.

James' smile grew wider, it was bloody funny thinking back on it although it hadn't been nearly so amusing at the time. He still didn't understand what possessed her to turn on him though, maybe it was the block of wood he was holding in his hand or perhaps it was just the way the people surrounding him had inched ever so slightly backwards while he had been occupying himself being amused at Sirius' joke but turn on him she did.

"What is going on here?" Well what was he supposed to say?

"It was just a bit of fun"

"A bit of fun that just happened to damage school property right?"

"We didn't mean to rip the painting."

"No of course not... and how the hell did you manage to get footprints on the ceiling anyway." Cue nervous giggles from the wings, bunch of amateurs.

Meanwhile the painted man in the portrait was still screaming hysterically "He put his foot in it. He put his foot in it."

James tried gesturing expansively, Lily glared. "And I suppose you 'didn't mean' to cause such a commotion either, you do realise that people are trying to work, its nearly the exams and the common room has to be kept at least relatively quiet so that people can study. The noise you were making could be heard right up in the dorms..."

James tried to interject that if that was the case why didn't she come down sooner but couldn't find an opening in the conver... lecture.

"You know what your problem is James Potter your just so irresponsible and self centred."

He did not need a lecture on his failings. "I am Not self centred."

"Yes. You are, and irresponsible, you didn't give a thought for the people who wanted to work in here did you? Or for what damage you might do to the room or to the other people in it."

James was angry now, this was personal. "How the hell could you know that? You don't even know what we were doing."

"We were levitating first years." Came an _extremely helpful _voice from somewhere behind him. If I ever find out who that was there will be hell to pay James reflected.

"You were _Levitating first years_. James how could you be so irresponsible?"

Maybe it was the tone of voice that she said James in, all despairing like she was deeply disappointed in him that did it. He was pissed off.

"So What. It was just a bit of fun. Why do you have to come and spoil it."

All the while the crazy portrait was yelling "He put his foot in it. He put his foot in it."

"A bit of fun. James that's incredibly dangerous. Someone could have cracked their head open or at the very least thrown up."

"Oh come on..."

"...in it. He..."

"I can see Jemima looking green." Lilly caught James' blank look. "You don't even know who she is do you?"

"He put his..."

"Of course I do."

"No you don't..."

"...foot..."

"Do you have to disagree with everything I ever say."

"No of course not... Will you Shut Up."

This command was not directed at him, nor indeed was it intended for the giggling mass of people staring at them, people he personally dearly wanted to strangle, but rather at the insanely irritating man in the painting. Shocked he shut his mouth.

"And irritating." She continued. "You are unbelievably irritating."

"_I'm_ irritating." James was momentarily speechless, this gave Lily the advantage.

"What if somebody had fallen."

"No one was going to fall."

"You can not possibly say that."

"I just did."

"You're not that good James."

"Yes I _am_."

There was a collective hiss of released breath from the gathered masses at the confident arrogance of his statement. In reflection James felt a bit embarrassed, it was _basically_ the truth he was that good. Still it was rather a conceited thing to say.

"No _you're_ _not_, but if you were then you should be even more responsible. You should set a good example. You should..." A strange look passed over Lily's face, her features froze up so that there was a moment of complete stillness. Then something inside began to give and she looked James directly in the eyes. 

In utter seriousness she said. "You should always remember James; with great power comes great responsibility."

Then she cracked up.

The common room was silent.

James was confused, the girl was obviously insane.

Slowly the fact that it wasn't only Lily laughing anymore impinged on his consciousness, he turned and surveyed the room.

Here and there people were giggling to themselves obviously trying and failing to smother their amusement before it escaped them.

James didn't get it. He glanced at the Mauruder's they were as mystified as he was staring round them with blank looks of their own.

"What?" He just didn't understand that girl. His obvious confusion weakened their self-control and the assorted gigglers broke into laughter.

People standing around them also began to grin, they didn't get the joke but the mood was infectious. In reflection, James felt he probably shouldn't have displayed his ignorance a second time "What?"

He glanced round the room then turned back to Evans "What the hell is that supposed to mean?". His utter lack of understanding destroyed whatever reserve was left to the laughers and the common room dissolved into unrestrained mirth. People James _knew_ had no idea what the joke was about were laughing their heads off. At him. Ok so he was used to making people laugh but generally _on purpose_.

It was probably a good thing that Professor MacGonagal walked in at that point. Everyone suddenly developed hic-ups and pointedly avoided looking at the ceiling...

...It's not like she was right. 'with great power comes great responsibility.' What a load of ballocks. The two were not necessarily related. You could have 'great power' and piss your life away pickling newts if you wanted.

That was the whole point of individual choice, you could do what you want. Of course_ he_ would never do something so... irrelevant but that was beside the point that was just because... he was better than all that, he would _do_ something that would make a difference. _He_ was _awake_.

An unwelcome thought intruded. Was he? Would he? Or was he just a spoilt, selfish _irrelevant_ boy? Is that what Lily saw in him his irrelevance? Was that what she meant with her lectures on responsibility? Was that why she wouldn't come anywhere near him?

It was rare for James to doubt himself, to feel self...reproach? remorse? but tonight there was a heaviness in his stomach. Oh he just wanted to go to sleep but his brain wouldn't let him rest. He just needed sleep, he knew it would all seem better in the morning...

He just didn't get it.

What did she expect from him? Its not like there was any responsibly he had to take care of Remus was the prefect. She said that he should take responsibility for his actions, it wasn't as if his actions ever hurt anyone...

Now that wasn't true. The admission cost him, he felt ill. He thought back... he thought... of Peter and felt the pricking of Guilt. If he was... honest they, put him down a lot, perhaps too much. But they were his friends if it wasn't for them he wouldn't have any, after all who... would... want... to... The thought trailed off and James felt even worse. Its not like they didn't like him, they did, it was just... that was the way things came out, harsher than they meant sometimes, they didn't really believe it.

He knew that didn't he?

And, James brightened a little, he'd been talking to Peter much more this year, helping him with his work and stuff... only to avoid talking to Sirius though. James wondered if Peter knew that. He must.

James felt depressed, he felt ill. Ok Peter could be annoying and it was irritating when he couldn't keep up and things had to be explained to him repeatedly and he slowed them down but... What a shit friend he was, him James, not Peter. It didn't start out like that, James was sure of it. First year, second year, third year even it had been good, he was sure, they'd all got on great. Pete, Pete was fun if quiet, a bit shy but he was included. It had never occurred to James not to, he _was_ a Griffendor after all.

When did it change? No, not change when did it evolve, transform. Well Peter did have this hero worship thing... James had never questioned its validity. It had created this hierarchy he supposed, with him at the top. No he'd never questioned its legitimacy, he'd just assumed that that was his rightful place. James smiled but there was a bitter edge to his amusement. It seemed it wasn't only Sirius who'd have to... be more aware.

It wasn't as though he'd never been nice to Peter, that's not what he was saying, and it wasn't as though he'd never relied on him. He had. He had relied on him during numerous pranks and he'd relied on him this year. When he couldn't talk to either Remus or Sirius true, but he'd felt he'd started to get to know him, he'd felt he started to value him.

James felt disgusted. It was a pathetic testament to their friendship that he'd only begun to feel he valued him after six years.

Maybe he was being too hard on himself, he'd valued Peter in the early years and now he felt he was beginning to value him again, it was just those years in the middle when they'd lost touch.

James felt suddenly afraid. How could you lose touch with someone you saw everyday? How could you slip apart from someone and not realise it. Slip apart so far you could be standing right beside them and there'd be miles and miles of distance that you couldn't cross. James didn't feel afraid now, he felt terrified. He couldn't imagine _anything_ worse.

He shivered, goosebumps appeared on his arms, the chill of someone walking over his grave crept down his spine.

This was ridiculous.

Why was he thinking of Peter anyway, when he'd started out thinking of Lily, an infinitely more appealing prospect. Well, most of the time.

There was just something about that girl, something more than the way she looked in those faded blue muggle jeans she occasionally wore. Although having said that he certainly wasn't dismissing the way she looked, not by any means. He'd never seen _anyone _looking so sexy, no one could even come close no matter what Sirius claimed. Ok so Amelia was bloody good looking but next to Lily there was just something forced, polished about her. She was like glass next to crystal or, or something else and yet, for some unfathomable reason Lily seemed to hate his guts and moreover took every opportunity to demonstrate that fact.

What _was_ it about him? He tried he really did but nothing seemed to work. She always seemed to want to think the worst of him, it just wasn't fair. He was the most powerful / intelligent student in the school And Griffindor Quiddich captain what more did she want. Ok so he wasn't the best looking guy but he wasn't repulsive, plenty of other girls had no objection. Penny for one and she'd been in the year above. Which really shouldn't matter, but at school it so does.

What's wrong with her? It was like she had this massive blind spot where James Potter should be. She was just so tense with him all the time, maybe it was because she was, well, muggle born and she felt threatened or jealous? of his purity of blood.

That didn't really sound right, she never seemed the kind of person to focus much on that sort of thing. Also she didn't seem to object, well object all that much, to Sirius and Mei was one of her best friends and _she_ was practically wizarding royalty so that picture didn't fit.

People made too much of the muggle thing.

The way James saw it if you could do magic you were a wizard end of story. Who your parents were or what they did didn't matter one little bit. You lived your own life and were responsible only for your own actions and should accept the consequences. James snorted, there was that bloody word again responsibility. His mind seemed to gravitate inescapably towards it tonight.

All at once James felt the exhaustion he had been feeling since he got home hit him like a ton of bricks. He felt drained as though he would never again have the energy to raise his head from the pillow, an exhaustion so deep that the world faded into the background and all his previously intense emotions became pale shadows of their former selves. Yet still he felt afraid.

He felt afraid but lacked the energy to truly suffer the emotion. It was a low grade, inescapable, insidious fear born of itself. His tiredness seemed to keep it at a distance though and James felt he could observe it dispassionately.

It was really quite remarkable.

Lying still, still staring at the ceiling, breathing deeply James suddenly felt a moment of clarity. He felt, for a moment as though he'd heard a lock click and a door open in his mind. He felt as though his mind was expanding, growing possibilities. His eyes sunk closed, he sighed.

He wondered what was beyond the door. There should be a hill, he liked hills and flowers... Where did the flowers come from? James was confused but he didn't let it bother him. Whatever it was he was sure he would figure it out or find it or...cope. It was at that point James' body which, frustrated after hours of sending pointed messages of fatigue which were just as pointedly ignored shut down his overactive brain and he drifted into sleep.

__

I would like to thank my sister and those who have helped me. Also another big thank you to the people who took the time to review the last chapter, both times it was posted. Thank You.

Please Review. (On my knees once again. I feel no shame I tell you. No shame.)


	3. Sitting in an English garden waiting for...

Disclaimer: They are not mine.

Finally the third part. I'm sorry it took so long to post but work happened. This instalment deals with a few more characters than the last two. Its still set in the last week before they go back to Hogwarts. I hope you enjoy.

Please R & R.

~ 

Chapter 3: Sitting in an English garden waiting for the Sun.

~

(If the sun don't come you get a tan from standing in the English rain. The Beatles 'I Am the Walrus)

"Plague in Newcastle and Durham. Alright I'm crowning Richard and... that it."

"Ooh."

"Revolt in Wales, Talbot to Ludlow."

"Hang on I don't think I took a card."

"250"

"No 50"

"It's Pole isn't it."

"If you think your going to get Pole."

"Declaring Clifford."

"Plague Shrewsbury, Plymouth."

"No!"

Lilly began to laugh. "No just kidding."

"That's not funny." Petunia was not pleased.

"It's just a joke Petunia anyway I'm attacking Dad. What do I need?"

"You can have anything except 4 -1"

"Right, Douglass and Grey die, I win...uh I'll not actually do anything. Your turn."

"Right where should I run to?"

"How about Hereford there's just been a plague they'll be good property prices."

"Daddy!"

"Just a joke my lovely."

Lily rolled her eyes momentarily irritated, her sister had _no_ sense of humour... But there was no point in dwelling on it. Relaxing back into the cushioning of her chair she surveyed the table. There was a fire in the grate and the cramped (she preferred to describe it as cosy) sitting room was boiling.

It was more than that though, Lily felt as if there was a warm glow that began deep inside her and radiated outwards in a determined effort to make her clothes turn the same colour as her hair. Looking at her family joking, arguing, laughing over the board she felt very happy. She felt like the cat who after eating the cream managed to steal the best spot in front of the fire on a cold winters day and on top of that had been tickled under the chin consistently for a good few hours. She felt completely content.

She turned her attention back to the board. At the moment she was winning... she thought. She wondered if she would be able to make it back to London before someone attacked her. Petunia _was_ positioned between her and where she wanted to go but, Petunia rarely attacked anyone. Her preferred strategy was to sit somewhere safe and gather more troops, a tactic which meant she usually lost the game because she waited too long but still, she did have her moments... That was really Petunia all over, most of the time she was a pain in the neck but sometimes she could suddenly morph into a decent sister, no that was mean, sometimes she could be a really good sister. The good Petunia hadn't shown herself to Lily for a long time, in fact it'd been a while since Petunia had even talked to her, for something other than 'could you pass the butter please'

The atmosphere on this whole family holiday had been decidedly cool and not just from the wet welsh weather. Which was why tonight was such a lovely change, they were getting along and Petunia had even offered to make Lily a cup of tea, needless to say it had been a _very nice_ cup of tea.

Lily looked up at her sister who was frowning down at the board. She did that too much. Lily thought she might be developing premature frown lines. Her hair was wrong too, the style in which she wore it when down was too harsh for her face it emphasised its length, something Petunia just didn't need and really her hair was far too thin for it to look good scraped back like that either.

Lily had always been enormously grateful that she had inherited her maternal grandmother's thick head of hair and not the spare offering of her mother's. She would've been happy with another colour though, blond for instance like Petunia and mum's, that would have been nice. Although everyone always told her, her hair was a gorgeous colour, there was something about the taunts of ginger and gange that struck too close to home. It wasn't just her either, she'd never met, and was sure she would never meet another red-head who was one hundred percent secure in their about their appearance.

Sharing a dorm with Amelia didn't help, Lily loved her dearly but she was very fashion conscious and so particular about her appearance and stunning with it all... Lily stopped herself. This was not the right time. It wasn't the right time to be criticising her sister's fashion sense either even if it was only in the privacy of her own mind and at least she could take comfort in the fact that Amelia was always late, very, very late.

The game was continuing without her. Her mother had done what she always did with all her turns which was to run around the board from safe castle to safe castle. Really it was only ever her dad she needed to watch out for in these family games, currently he was manoeuvring around York. Yes she could make it down to London, declare a few armies and the game would be practically over.

"Your turn Darling"

"Right. I'm moving on down south. There we go."

"Anything else?"

"No just pass me a card." Lily looked at the card she'd been given thirty Flemish crossbowmen. Good they were going to be useful. Putting the card at the bottom of her pile she leaned back and caught Petunia staring in her direction.

Lily was surprised, her sister's gaze was unreadable. She didn't look angry but she wasn't looking exactly friendly either. Lily raised an eyebrow in query and Petunia looked back at the board the moment over.

Just then her dad leaned over "It's been great to have had you back with us Lily. We've missed you."

Lily opened her mouth to point out that there was one person who obviously hadn't but her dad cut her off. "We've _all_ missed you whether you believe me or not. Don't give your sister too hard a time she's had a difficult year. She..."

"Petunia dear its your turn." Elizabeth Evans reminded her daughter as she took her final card.

"What? Oh, yes... I'm declaring." Both Lily and her father turned their attention back to the board in shock as Petunia began to lay her cards down on the table.

"I'm declaring Percy, and making him Chancellor. I'm declaring Grey and making him Warden of the Northern Marches and I'm attacking Lily."

"What? Now Petunia you really don't want to do that..."

"Yes I do. Pass the card Mum. 2-1 victory to me, I win. Now I'm attacking Daddy..."

Lily was shocked, she'd just been wiped off the board, _by her sister._ To say it was unheard of would be an understatement. It just... it just wasn't right.

~

Mai wasn't listening to the tales of deeply scandalous family gossip flying about her ears. She'd heard most of it before after all, some of stories were centenaries old. She was instead staring at the water in the pond and trying not to sigh, or to look too miserable, or indeed to attract any attention at all. It just wasn't a good idea in the company of relations.

Having tuned out the voices of her aunts and assorted elderly female relatives she was listening to instead to the voices of her cousins of they played in the gardens and was half guiltily wishing she could join them. There was no chance of that however, she was a young woman now, as she was consistently told and her mother wanted her around to prove that living in Britain and going to school at Hogwarts wasn't having a corrupting influence.

She felt herself under scrutiny and not wanting to be bombarded with questions concentrated on sitting still and pretending not to be there. She felt as far away from Britain and Hogwarts as it was possible to be. That wasn't entirely a bad thing what with her and Remus falling apart, it was a bit of a relief to get away.

She wondered what he was doing right now. It was almost time to go back to school, would he be spending today buying school supplies? No of course not. It was only six o'clock in the morning there, he'd probably be feeding the animals, she almost smiled at the image. She still found it a bit odd that his parents were farmers. 

She felt rebellious and slightly superior, just imagine what her aunts would say if they knew what she was thinking, if they knew how much "that school" had indeed corrupted her and how much she had been willingly corrupted. Imagine what her mum would say for that matter... Or not, she would never, _ever_ tell her mother anything about it. Her cheeks coloured with her thoughts and she bent her head slightly in an attempt to hide it.

Was she really right to break up with him though? That thought had been tormenting her all summer... She was. Yes she was right to leave him. She wasn't stupid, she knew there was something he wasn't telling her. If he'd just been honest with her there would have been no need for all this. Well it didn't matter anymore anyway, they were over and that was all there was to it. She would go back to school and concentrate on her studies and... ignore anything and everything that connected with her ex.

~

January was sitting cross legged in the back of the caravan. He was alone. This was unusual, highly unusual the tiny interior was almost always filled with the untidy horde of January's siblings and the big looming shapes of his mother and father. He was enjoying himself however, sitting in the best cushioned seat by the window the sun streaming in.

It had been his choice not to go with the family on the almost annual shopping trip. There just wasn't anything he needed at least not anything he needed from a muggle shop, he'd buy his school supplies later. He didn't feel left behind, in fact he wasn't thinking about his family at all or school or indeed all the homework he'd been set to do over the holidays. He was thinking instead about what it must be like to live forever, or at least for a very long time. To watch the people that he knew grow old and die and yet to continue to live after them.

January was a puzzle to most of the people who met him. The oldest child in his family his appearance was different, strikingly different, from the rest of his siblings. Where their hair was thick and straight with a colouring that ranged from dark brown to black his was a brown to dirty blond kind of colour complete with curls. His skin colour too was different, his brothers and sisters all shared a darkish olive skin tone. January's on the other hand was much lighter and he freckled easily.

In fact he looked nothing like anyone in his family not his siblings, not his parents, not his cousins and nothing like his grandparents. There was a simple explanation for this: January was adopted. His parents had never made a secret of the fact. It was slightly more unusual than the average adoption however, and everyone knew the story of how January had been found wrapped in only a tweed jacket on the side of a small winding country road just south of the M25. 

Still this wasn't what made him so puzzling. What was more intriguing was his seemingly utter lack of connection or indeed interest in the events that went on around him. It was as if there were two vaguely similar worlds with vaguely similar events happening simultaneously and January just lived in the other one from everyone else. For years they'd thought he was simple, that was until they got his first report card.

He seemed to effortlessly pick up things the other children found difficult and yet he never seemed to be concentrating on the task in hand. He was an enigmatic child, obviously gifted but he never seemed to learn in any meaningful way. People _tried_ with him, they tried hard, but he frustrated them all eventually. He was a common subject of staff room conversation, conversation that was usually ended by the bell and contained the phrase 'head in the clouds', and in a half exasperated half despairing sigh.

Occasionally people would come and see his parents to try to talk about his needs. His mother would defend him from all comers. She had a deep distrust of social services. She thought he was lucky baby. His grandmother believed he was half fairy. January had never bothered to explain that this would be anatomically impossible. In fact it had never occurred to him.

~

Sirius sat down on his trunk and stretched his legs out in front of him, his back resting against the wall. The early morning sun trickled in in an apologetic sort of way through his, oh he liked the sound of that, windows.

Sirius yawned, he was still caught in the throes of that late-night/early-morning lazy sort of tiredness. It really was _far_ too early for him to be awake, it was the holidays for heavens sake.

He glanced around. Apart from his school trunk, all packed and ready to go an amazing three days early no less, the room was empty, bare floorboards and haphazardly painted walls. Sirius thought it looked fucking beautiful.

He stretched feeling the movement in every single part of his body. His arms reached up the wall behind him and there was a sudden shower of plaster. Oh bloody brilliant Sirius thought sarcastically as he shook white flakes out of his hair and yet the sarcasm had no feeling behind it, the crumbling walls somehow didn't spoil his mood. He leant back against the wall. Things were good today.

Suddenly he leapt forward like a scalded cat, The Jacket! His pride and joy, (well one of them) his leather jacket, if it was hurt or... or damaged. Sirius wasn't quite sure what he was going to do to the wall in the event of harm to the jacket, but whatever it was it was going to be bad. He twisted attempting to see the back, then his brain caught up. He took off the jacket and held it up to the light, studying it in minute detail. It did seem to be intact, he brushed off the last lingering traces of plaster dust and put it down on top of his trunk.

Strolling as best he could the three strides over to the window, Sirius gazed out on his charming view. It really was a very handsome red brick wall. Behind him there was a muffled thwack and the sound of dislodged soot.

"Morning Misure Prongs." Sirius said still staring out the window, "and how are you this fine day?"

There was an indecipherable mumble from the fireplace and Sirius turned. Standing in the centre of the flames was the dishevelled form of his best friend James Potter. James was a sight, his clothes were twisted about his body and although one hand still held tight to the handle of an upended trunk his glasses were covered in a think layer of soot, more of which showered down in a mini avalanche every time he turned his head.

What was now apparent however, was the reason for his lack of articulation. James' mouth had been plugged by three slices of butter soaked toast, it said a lot for his strength of character that he hadn't bitten down.

"Brilliant. Breakfast." Sirius said as he strode over. "You better not have slobbered all over them Prongs." He removed the toast from his friends mouth.

"Oh great help you are Sirius. Yeah thanks a lot. You know I bet that chimney hasn't been cleaned at all in the last twenty years its bloody filthy!" As he spoke James was righting the trunk and haling it out of the fireplace.

"Sirius." James had just noticed he wasn't helping. Sirius reluctantly put down the toast he'd been munching away on.

"But I'm hungry. You took so bloody long to get here."

"Oh that was mum. She was fussing, I was ready to go ages ago but she kept loading me up with more and more stuff. You know." James glanced up at Sirius. "I think she'd really going to miss having you about the place, she's acting almost like she's losing a son."

Sirius stayed quiet but James caught the shyly embarrassed, pleased smile that flashed across his face, not many people got to see that smile. He looked down and continued, "Yeah so she was loading me up, you've gained a coat stand and two lampshades by the way and then at the last minute." James gestured at the half eaten toast, "And of course I had nowhere to hold it. Oh and she said you were welcome at home for meals anytime."

Having removed the luggage from the fireplace James straightened up and surveyed the room. His eyes fell on Sirius. "Hey how come you're not covered?"

" I didn't come by chimney. I walked."

"You walked? Where did you spend the night then? 'Cos you sure as hell didn't walk from my house all the way here."

"Eric's."

"Eric's?" James was well, disappointed but he hid it. He never wanted to show his disapproval of Eric because if he did ever say anything, he just knew it would sound like he had a problem with the whole... gay thing. Which really wasn't the case he just had a problem with Eric.

There were many reasons for his dislike of Eric but... Sirius could do what he wanted. 

"Nothing went on." Sirius supplied quickly.

"You don't have to explain." James began worried that Sirius had sensed his disapproval.

"No but that's the point, I said nothings going to happen again."

"Oh" James was surprised. "Why?"

"Because I'm sorting everything out."

He caught Sirius' stare.

"All my shit, I'm going to sort it."

James didn't know how to respond. "Oh" he said again, there was a short pause. "Good." 

It was bazaar, he felt disorientated as though Sirius had ripped the carpet out from under his feet. All yesterday he'd spent trying to come up with ways of starting this conversation, ways of convincing Sirius that he couldn't continue the way he was and suddenly here was Sirius taking the words right out of his mouth. At least that's what he thought Sirius was telling him. 

"What do you mean exactly?" James ventured slowly. Sirius sighed a small sigh and sat down once more on his school trunk. 

"I mean I fucked up badly last year and I need to stop that. I... screwed up. All that shit with Eric, Amelia and... Remus and even my fucking marks."

"Your marks? Since when have you ever cared about your marks?" Sirius grimaced at the surprise in James' voice.

"Even you have to admit they were bad. _I s_houldn't be just scraping passes in my subjects. I'm far too clever for that." James did not fail to notice the faint mockery present in Sirius' voice as he imitated the favourite phrases and intonation of Macgonagall probably the teacher who was most disappointed in his abysmal performance last year.

"But I mean I've made a decision... well come to a realisation. I want to get back with Amelia."

'Oh Shit' thought James. "Sirius" he interrupted. "You didn't just cheat on the girl once you cheated twice"

"Wait."

"No. You cheated on her twice. With a _guy _and before you start I know that shouldn't be any different to you cheating on her with another girl but it _will _be. She's just not going to come running back the moment you decide you want her again."

"Oh for fucks sake I know that! It's going to be bloody difficult but... I think its worth it."

'Bloody impossible you mean.' James thought rebelliously "So your not going to see Eric _ever_ again?"

"Well I can't promise that he's still a mate."

"Well that's arguable." James knew he was being too direct, this wasn't how he'd planned it but something had snapped inside him. Sirius looked like he was about to say something but James continued

"That's what she's going to want you know. Among a great many other things. She going to want you never to see him again and she's going to want you to commit to her. Are you prepared to not look at another person while your with her or are you just going to fuck about again?" Sirius was looking at him, surprise written all over his face. He looked as though he couldn't deicide whether to be concerned for his friend or very, very angry. 

"No mate." He said slowly. "That's what I've been trying to tell you."

"And your not going to even look at another person."

"No I won't."

"Yeah right."

"I won't" Sirius sound aggrieved.

"Really? Well I don't believe you..."

"Fuck you James..."

"...and what about?" James left it hanging, he'd finally regained control of his mouth and now he didn't have the courage to finish that sentence.

"Remus" Sirius supplied for him, his face twisted into an inscrutable half smile. "Well. Considering he's not gay I'm pretty much fucked on that front as it is."

"Just because you can't get with Remus that's not a good reason to get back with..."

"Oh shut the fuck up for once and let me finish. I..." James waited but Sirius seemed to have become stuck. He opened his mouth to say something but Sirius held up his hand to stop him.

"I still, I still have feelings for Remus, but it's pointless James I mean shit. He's not fucking gay no matter how much I want him to be, he's just not..."

"but..." 

"But that's completely different from my feelings for Amelia." James had his doubts but he kept them to himself.

"I love her James..."

'Oh God someone save me'

"...and I want to get back together with her."

"Sirius have you really thought about this really. She hates your guts." James felt defeated, Sirius was setting himself up to fail again. "You know what your problem is you only ever want what you can't have."

"But I can, she will get back with me." James just stared at him. Sirius must have picked up on some of what he was feeling because he smiled

"She will. It'll be alright you'll see. Don't worry I know it won't be easy."

'Sirius the optimist, that's the last thing I thought I'd see today,' James thought bemusedly. It was alright he supposed, Sirius didn't have a icicle's chance in hell of getting back together with Amelia but... What was the point in James pointing that out and well, it would be quite amusing to see him try.

"You're really going to have your work cut out for you."

"I know."

"She's going to make you beg."

"Yes I know."

"Hands and knees and everything."

"_Yes._ I know... There's a few other people I need to apologise to too." James raised a questioning eyebrow.

"Well I haven't exactly been a saint."

"_Really, you haven't_?" Sarcasm dripped from James voice.

"And now I don't think we should talk about this ever again." James started to laugh. 

"No really, never." James laughed harder and Sirius couldn't help joining in. It was a beautiful day, he owned a shitty little flat but _he_ owned it and he was going to sort his life out.

A while later they were putting up shelves. "James do you know something I've just noticed."

"What?"

"When you get really angry you sound just like a girl."

__

I would like to thank my sister and those who have helped me especially those people who took the time to review the last two chapters. Thank you.

Thank you for reading and Please take the time to review.

Its what we scribblers live for.

xxx


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